


Salvation (2010)

by JennyB



Category: Saiyuki
Genre: Alternate Universe, Anal Sex, Angels, Angst, Blood, Bondage, Community: 7thnight_smut, Dark, Death, Dystopia, M/M, Mildly Dubious Consent, Rough Sex, Violence
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2010-08-15
Updated: 2010-08-15
Packaged: 2018-07-11 12:32:26
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 16,180
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7051633
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/JennyB/pseuds/JennyB
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Hakkai is lost in his own darkness. Can a seemingly chance encounter with a strange man lead him to salvation, or will he fall even further into the shadows?</p>
            </blockquote>





	Salvation (2010)

**Author's Note:**

  * For [jinxaire](https://archiveofourown.org/gifts?recipient=jinxaire).



> This was written for the 2010 7th Night Smut challenge, a Saiyuki-themed writing community on Dreamwidth.
> 
> The prompt was 'things that go bump in the night' in a modern urban fantasy. I did have a lot of fun with this one - I only hope that I've done it justice.

He was getting restless. Her office was too tidy. Clinical. Sterile. _Boring_. And he'd just about reached the limits of his idle attention span. He didn't know what bee had flown into her bonnet, but his aide had paged him twenty minutes ago and had rather snippily told him to get his ass over to her office because she had big news for him. He smirked a little at the memory. He didn't know why he bothered indulging her. She was his subordinate and far _inferior_ to him in every way. He supposed that maybe it was because he was hoping to get a chance to bang her, and that would prove difficult if she wanted nothing to do with him. Once he had, he'd give her the same contempt he gave everyone else - but as long as she dangled the proverbial carrot for him...

He arched a brow and glanced down at his crotch, his one hand moving to adjust his trousers around his semi-erect cock. _Speaking of dangling carrots..._ With a snort of amusement, he reached in his pocket for his cigarettes and lit one as he dropped into _her_ desk chair, leaning back and propping his feet up on the immaculate, highly polished surface. He'd better distract himself from such thoughts; if she came in and caught him half-hard, she'd slap him, call him a pig, and refuse to tell him her news. Not that he necessarily _disagreed_ with the assessment at all, but the thought of having both his curiosity and his libido left unsatisfied (not to mention, the two hour nagging session that would be sure to follow) was a rather unsavoury one. He smirked. No wonder he'd never had any interest in marriage - he'd sooner castrate himself. He heard the soft click of the latch and his gaze flicked to the door when it opened, his smirk widening.

She scowled when she saw him in _her_ chair, the expression turning more severe when, for lack of an ashtray, he tapped the end of his cigarette, flecks of grey falling soundlessly to the floor. "Ukoku..." She sighed heavily and decided it wasn't worth the argument to get him to take the visitor's chair, but after crossing the room and unceremoniously firing a crimson file folder at him, she swatted his feet off the desk. "Read this," she intoned, barely managing not to roll her eyes when he blew her a kiss and promptly returned his feet to the mahogany surface.

"You didn't say please," the raven drawled mockingly. "Have you no manners?"

" _You_ broke into my office, so don't lecture me about manners!" she replied shrilly. "And what the hell are you doing here anyway? I figured you'd delay for an hour at least before gracing me with your presence."

Ukoku snapped a mocking salute at the scolding. "Aye-aye, Ma'am!" He turned the document so that it was facing the right way, and then shrugged. "Nothing else to do. Besides, it seemed _responsible_ of me to not dilly-dally. Especially not when you have something so positively _fascinating_ to tell me, I'm sure," he taunted, falling silent a moment later on seeing it was a mission file. It had been quite a while since he'd been handed one of these, times being what they were, and a dark brow arched in surprise as nimble fingers lazily flipped the folder open. He scanned the name on the cover page, the second brow joining the first as indigo eyes shifted over to the picture that had been attached to the corner with a paperclip. "This guy? Are you joking?" He snorted as he took a healthy drag off of his cigarette, a cloud of blue-grey smoke briefly colouring the air a moment later. "He looks like a putz. Not worth my time, no matter how bored I am. Ask one of the minions," he said finally as he carelessly tossed the folder back onto the desk.

"Did you even _read_ the file?" the woman demanded waspishly, her hands perched haughtily on her voluptuous hips. "If you _had_ , you'd see there's more to him than meets the eye. _He_ has a particular interest in him for reasons that should be obvious even to you. He thinks he'd make an excellent addition to His... _entourage_. He even has the perfect position in mind for him. And, you've been requested specifically... _Captain_." A bit of a smirk curved her lips upwards as hazel eyes roved disapprovingly over the other's unkempt appearance; it was hard for her to believe that he was truly one of the highest ranking in the organization and entrusted with so much responsibility - though a part of her believed he did it solely to see how much he could get away with. "One of your titles you like to throw around is Seeker, isn't it? So go seek. But, if you don't think you can _handle it_ , I'll go tell Him you're too busy to honour a personal request from -"

"Nah, nah, I'll do it," the raven interrupted, and with an oily smirk of his own, he leered lewdly at her and drawled, "No need to get your panties in a wad." He leaned over, his feet still on the desk, and he picked the folder back up. _Cho Hakkai_ , he read silently. Sure, he was pretty, and he had those brooding green eyes... With a put-upon sigh, he started scanning the actual documentation, though the further he went, the wider and darker his grin grew. "Oh! Well now, I can see why _I_ was requested for this one. Looks fun. Does our little lamb know?" He chuckled. "Somehow, I doubt it, or He wouldn't require my _services_. I only hope this one takes a little longer than the last. It's been a while since I've had a treat like this, and you know I get bored easily."

"I thought you might change your mind," she replied smugly. "And no, he has no idea of his lineage, but he's certainly manifesting all the traits necessary to take up his mantle," she added with something almost akin to sympathy as she nudged her glasses up the bridge of her nose. "I believe this one should keep you _suitably entertained_."

"Deadline?"

"He wants to see results within a week. And failure is not an option. That means you'd better get your ass in gear."

"Yeah, yeah," he drawled as he took a final drag off of his smoke, all the while giving her a dismissive wave of his hand. Removing his feet from the desk, he looked around for some sort of container, and not seeing anything suitable, he dropped his cigarette on the floor and stubbed it out under his toe as he closed the folder and set it squarely in front of him. "Any restrictions?"

"You've seen the picture; I'm sure you can appreciate why in part He wants him. And don't destroy his mind - he'll be useless otherwise. Beyond that, no. He thought that this one might require the use of some of your _special skills_. Be sure to avail yourself of them."

The raven smiled as he got to his feet, and he flexed his great black wings behind him as he picked up his assignment. An insidious grin spread across his features. "Believe me," he purred darkly. "I intend to."

* * *

Night was beginning to fall over the city, and a lone figure glanced up at the encroaching twilight before curling further in on himself and picking up his pace as he hurried through the deserted alley. He needed to get home before the darkness came. Once the sun disappeared, the city transformed, shifting from a barely tolerable authoritarian dystopia to an urban cesspool where there were no laws, and anyone foolish enough to be out on the streets would be lucky to live to see the next sunrise. Ninety-five percent of the crime took place under cover of darkness - mostly because the government took a rather callous attitude towards its citizens. It had imposed a twilight curfew, instructing its people to be indoors by the time the streetlights came on, and essentially turned a blind eye to anything that happened after nightfall. After all, if the people couldn't be bothered to obey a simple rule set in place for their own 'protection', then the state wouldn't intervene on their behalf. The way the government saw it, while perhaps not as heinous as murder and rape, ignoring curfew was still a violation of the law, and criminals were on their own.

One of the sodium vapour lamps flickered on overhead, casting its pale, sickly circle of yellow light onto the pavement under his feet, and his sharp, green eyes quickly scanned the shadows. "Damn it," he murmured under his breath as he crossed over to the other side of the alley where it was slightly brighter. He had _known_ he was going to be late when he'd set out that afternoon, and yet, he'd gone anyway. He'd needed to. Even though the rational part of his mind knew unequivocally that they wouldn't have cared one way or another if he had postponed his trip by a day, the very idea of doing what was _convenient_ for him over what was _right_ made him nearly sick with guilt. He owed them. After all, it was his fault that they were there in the first place. He'd been too naïve. Too trusting. Too enraptured by the pretty face and soft body that had so reminded him of his beloved. Broken then, he'd taken her first into his bed and then into his heart, completely oblivious to the way she had so expertly played him, wooing him with convincing lies and false flattery to soothe his wounded ego. By the time he'd figured out the deception and had gone to warn them, it had been too late - two of them had already been dead, the third gravely injured, and despite his own wounds, the only thing that had kept him from being her fourth victim had been a well-placed retaliatory shot from the surly blond before he had succumbed to his injuries.

He slipped his hand into the pocket of his black leather trench coat, a melancholy smile briefly curving his lips upward as he touched the cool metal of the concealed Zippo lighter, only to tense when he felt someone watching him. More than that, he felt someone _staring unabashedly_ at him, and the very thought sent a shiver down his spine. He quickened his step, only to stop abruptly and take a few paces back when he suddenly found himself face to face with a lanky blond brandishing a gun. His eyes widened a little when he noticed two other men slip out of the shadows behind him, essentially surrounding him, those two similarly armed. It wasn't the first time he'd found himself on the business end of a gun, and he knew that in most cases, these sorts of dealings were simple robberies. "I don't have much money, but you can have what I've got. Just, please let me keep my identification. It's quite a hassle to get it replaced," he said, his voice soft and even despite the flicker of anxiety that ran through him.

"Oh, _thank you_ for your permission!" the ringleader drawled as he grabbed the slender brunet by the front of his shirt and pushed him hard against the wall, a sneering grin curving his lips upward when he heard the soft cry of surprise and saw the blood start to trickle down the other's chin from where he'd bit his lip. "How's this?" he murmured darkly as he leaned in close and licked a slimy trail along his cheek before roughly grabbing his jaw and forcing the green eyes to his own. "We're going to _take_ whatever the fuck we want, whether it's your ID, a ticket stub, or a fucking stick of gum. And if you can manage to keep your mouth shut, maybe we won't kill you. Got it?" Not waiting for an answer, he turned to his cohorts. "Search him."

The other two descended upon the brunet, quickly rifling through his pockets and pulling the scant few dollars he had on him from his wallet before tossing the leather flap to the ground. "Oooh-eeee! Lookie what I found!" one of them squealed delightedly as he held up the silver Zippo. "If it's an original, it'll fetch a pretty price!"

"No, please! You can't take that! I -" His words ended abruptly in a sharp hiss as he was struck hard across the cheek with the butt end of the pistol, the action knocking the glasses from his face and to the asphalt. After he discreetly spit out a mouthful of blood, he said, "Please give that back; it's important to me, and I can't let you have it. Please, I-I don't want to have to hurt you." He felt a cold, prickling stir underneath the surface of his skin, and he lightly curled his hands into loose fists, as if trying to override the sensations.

The leader arched a pale brow, and then broke out into guffaws of laughter. "You? Hurt us?" He snickered in amusement. "Look at you. You're pretty enough to where I might think about fucking you before I kill you, but you look like you'd fall over in a strong wind!" He caught the lighter from the toady who tossed it to him, and he flicked it open and struck the flint, bringing the flame in close to his captive's cheek, and then withdrawing it, as if threatening to burn him. "And just what the fuck would a pathetic thing like you do to hurt me, hmm?" He moved the lighter closer to the other's face again, this time intent on burning out one of the brilliant green eyes.

The brunet's gaze narrowed slightly at the taunting words, his expression turning deadly serious. "I'm so sorry." With considerable agility, he drove the heel of his hand into the bridge of the blond's nose, effectively shattering it, and then used the resulting chaos to grab his gun and shoot one of the other gang members point blank in the forehead.

"Holy shit!" the other toady breathed, his eyes unnaturally wide, and for several long seconds, he simply stared at the brunet, his blood turning to ice when a very cold smile turned up the corners of the man's mouth. He should have run. Instead, the thief pointed his weapon at the other, and was shot twice in the chest and once in the face for his trouble, joining his fallen comrade on the pavement, blood slowly pooling around both of them.

Turning his attention back to the disoriented blond, the brunet grabbed a fistful of greasy hair and yanked the man's head back, a hint of a smirk on his lips as he watched the other struggle a little to breathe as the blood ran down his throat. "Now... _please_ give me my lighter back. If you don't, I will kill you." He cocked back the hammer and held the revolver under the other's chin, pressing it up slightly. "Is it really worth dying over something so stupid?"

The gang leader's steely eyes shifted to meet the green ones, and he scowled, even as he tried to clear away some of the blood. After a few seconds, he lifted the Zippo so that he could look at it from his current position. The engraving on it had long ago faded and was difficult to read in the garish yellow light, and the whole thing looked pretty beat up. "It's a piece of shit," he managed to hiss out, and then he smirked, the blood running down his face making the expression that much more wicked. "You want it that bad? Fuck you. Go get it." And with that, he hurled it towards the opposite end of the alley, a smug grin spreading across his face when he heard a dull 'clunk' of metal on metal, and realized he'd thrown it into a dumpster. 

The brunet tensed, and then his own expression turned decidedly malignant. Seconds later, the smile was shot off of the thug's face. He watched the body fall lifelessly to the ground, and turning from the corpse, he murmured softly, "I wish you hadn't done that. I'm so sorry..." It took him a moment to compose himself, the hand holding the revolver trembling slightly as the adrenaline started to wear off. He turned his gaze skyward, his eyes falling closed. "I'm so sorry. Please, forgive me," he murmured softly to the night air as he knelt down to pocket his wallet and retrieve his glasses, setting them back on his face.

"Do you really think that He can hear you?" drawled a lilting voice from the shadows.

Green eyes widened in surprise on hearing the voice, then narrowed with purpose as the brunet spun around, his weapon trained on the darkness, his previous unsteadiness gone in the face of this new, unseen threat.

"My, my..." There was a soft chuckle, and the raven stepped forward, a sly smirk on his face as he leaned casually against the open dumpster. "Such dangerous times we live in; so much so that a guy can't go out for a night-time stroll without getting jumped - or killed. Normally, I'd be a Good Samaritan and warn you to be wary of things that go bump in the night - especially around here - but I never expected I'd see the day where someone would have the balls to actually bump back." Again, he laughed and took a few steps toward the other. "Tell me something, are you one of those _shoot first, ask questions later_ types there, Trigger? You know, kill them all, let God sort them out in the end? If so, I should probably feel a bit nervous right about now."

"I -" A look of shock settled on the brunet's face when he finally got a decent look at the newcomer in the dingy light. The man attached to the voice was attractive enough, save for the off-putting, twisted smile he wore, but it was the white tabbed collar at his throat and the floor length cassock that caught and held his attention. "Oh God..." Hastily, he lowered the gun, the weapon clattering clumsily to the pavement a moment later. "M-my apologies, Father. I...didn't realize - I-I mean, I wasn't expecting anyone to be here. Anyone else." He hesitantly ran a hand through his wild fringe of bangs, feeling slightly awkward about the whole situation.

The raven again laughed as he looked up at the other, his glasses somehow managing to capture the feeble light and reflect it back, obscuring his eyes. "Of course not. But you're pretty trusting, aren't you?" He moved towards the revolver on the ground and picked it up, his smirk widening when the pretty brunet made no move to stop him or to back away. He glanced down at the weapon, and then chuckled as he pointed it at the other and saw him raise his hands in front of him in a defensive posture. "Even though I look like a priest, it doesn't necessarily make me one. Furthermore, just because I am one, do you truly believe that makes me less of a liability and safer to be around?" He snickered, obviously amused by this whole turn of events, and an oily grin curved his lips upwards into an eerie smile. "Have you _not_ heard the latest goings-on with men of the cloth? You can't assume something _is_ based on how it _looks_. That's a good way to get yourself killed. But then again, sometimes a cigar is just a cigar." He lowered the gun and slipped it into the pocket of his cloak. "Or, in this situation, sometimes a priest is just a priest." He extended his now-empty hand, as though he were going to shake the other's. Instead, he turned it so it was facing palm out, a business card held deftly between his index and middle fingers, and he offered it to the other. "Father Nii."

The brunet canted his head slightly to the side, curiously watching the cleric. He wasn't quite sure what to make of the whole exchange up to this point, and after lowering his arms, he hesitantly took the card and then quietly murmured, "Cho Hakkai. Um...but you can call me just Hakkai." He fell silent as he looked down at it, and he had to tilt it a little to get enough light on the paper to read the small font. " _Our Lady of Perpetual Suffering_? Never heard of it." An elegant brow arched. "Sector Delta? You're a long way from your church, Father. Not that it's any of my business, but what are you doing all the way out here?"

Nii's smirk widened further and he tipped his head down so that the other would see his dark eyes. "I could ask you the same question, _just Hakkai_ ," he drawled, a note of teasing to his voice. "You know, if I were the paranoid type. Though, maybe in this city, that's not such a bad thing to be." He shrugged a little. "I can't say that I have a reason to be here, really. Other than that my faith compelled me to walk in this direction." He cast his eye over the slender man. _Oh yes, **definitely** pretty..._ "Everything has a reason and a purpose, yeah?" He reached into his robe and withdrew a crumpled pack of cigarettes, sliding one between his lips before he extended the rest in offering to Hakkai.

"No thank you," came the polite declination. "I don't smoke."

"You don't?" A dark brow arched in curiosity, and with another supple flick of his wrist, something small and silver appeared in his hand. "Huh." A moment later, the flint was sparked on the lighter, the glow from the heater momentarily illuminating the worn crest on the side. After snapping out the flame, he exhaled, and then handed the Zippo to the brunet. "What do you carry this around for, then, MacGyver?"

Hakkai's eyes widened and he took the offered lighter, holding it almost reverently in his hand for a moment before he carefully put it back in his jacket pocket. "You -" He turned and glanced down at the dead gang leader, and then back at the priest. "H-how did you get this?"

Nii snorted in amusement. "You know, I don't mind answering your questions, but the least you could do is answer some of mine before moving on to the next topic. It's a fairly standard rule of conversation etiquette." He saw he'd caught the other off-guard, and not giving him a chance to respond, he said, "I happened to catch the tail end of your little alley party here, and I was just in the right place at the right time to snatch it. From what I heard, it seemed pretty important to you. Important enough to kill three men for, anyway." He felt the wave of guilt wash over the other and he hid the resultant malignant smile behind his hand as he took another hit from his cigarette. He exhaled then, and with a small chuckle, he made a single coin appear in his hand, and then just as smoothly, vanish. "This whole making things appear out of thin air, though? Just magic tricks. I had to find some way to entertain the kiddies and keep their attention." _Isn't that right, Kiddo?_

"I - yes. Thank you, Father." He offered a tentative smile when he saw the nod of acknowledgement, and after a moment, he said, "I really thought it was gone forever. And it's not mine. Well, it _is_ mine. Now. But it once belonged to a very dear friend. It's about all I have left of him. That, and memories. To be honest, that's all I have of any of my friends anymore. They...died a long time ago." He hesitated, and then admitted quietly, "I'd been...visiting them."

Nii arched a brow at that. "How? I know that for the last fifty years or so, the government deemed all cemeteries as biohazards - and hence, illegal. A lot of the land is still in environmental remediation."

Hakkai smiled again. "I know. And I know that their remains have long been incinerated, but the place where we all used to live still remains. Well, sort of. There are hints of the old foundation, and an old, broken down Jeep there that's nearly been reclaimed by the forest. I'm fairly certain that the government doesn't know about it, and if it does, it's made no attempt to dispose of it. Probably because it's in a rather isolated part of town. It's fitting though. It's sort of like a Memorial to them. Once a season, on the Equinox or the Solstice, I go out there." He paused then, a hint of colour warming his cheeks as he felt the priest watching him intently, and he found it hard to maintain eye contact with the man for more than a few seconds at a time. "It's just a foolish thing I do; it's not important, really." Dropping his gaze, and feeling rather uncomfortable, he murmured, "I should go. I...don't really like being out here." _Especially right now..._

Nii finished off his cigarette and flicked the filter into the dumpster behind him. "No, it sounds absolutely precious." He started walking out of the alley, and was pleased to see that Hakkai had fallen into step with him. "I'm curious now; what is it you go there to do?"

Hakkai's step faltered slightly, and after hesitating for a moment, he said, "I go there and do one thing that each of them used to enjoy. Things that remind me of them. I take a lunch and have a steak pasty, drink a can of beer, and smoke one cigarette. It's usually not a problem, but I got a late start today, and got caught out here after nightfall. And then, well, things happened."

"Ah yes," Nii purred. "Things have a way of just _happening_. You seem to know how to take care of yourself, at least."

Hakkai bristled slightly, and then sighed softly. "Mm. Though I really despise using guns. I...didn't want to kill them, but they left me no choice."

"Yes. I heard you _apologize_ after the fact. Were you asking for God's forgiveness?" When he saw the strange look he got in return, he lightly tapped his collar.

"God?" Hakkai stopped and laughed a little, the sound forced and uncomfortable as he ran a hand through his dark fringe of bangs. "Uh, no. I'm sorry, Father, but I was actually asking my friend to forgive me. If God really exists, I'm sure He stopped listening to me a long time ago. Besides, I don't think He'd be too interested in helping someone like me."

Nii arched a brow and smirked, obviously amused by that. _Interesting. If you only knew just how 'in demand' you were..._ "So, you don't believe in Him?" he asked, only to reach out a moment later, his slender fingers grasping the crucifix that was barely visible from beneath the other's coat, his brow travelling higher and his smirk widening. "Fashion statement, then?"

"I -" Hakkai tensed slightly and backed away from the raven, giving him another uncomfortable look. "I'd rather not talk about it, Father." Quickly tucking the cross inside his jacket and zipping it up further, he turned his gaze back to the other. "I-I need to go. Thank you for your help tonight. You saved me a lot of stress and searching. I appreciate that."

"Mm." Nii tapped another cigarette out of his pack and slid it between his lips. After patting down his robe and cloak and coming up empty-handed, he turned his dark eyes to Hakkai. "Do you mind?" His lips curved up in another greasy smirk when the other handed the Zippo back to him. With a nod of thanks, he sparked the stick, and after snapping the lighter closed and exhaling, he held onto it for a moment, his expression contemplative as he looked at the worn crest - a white cross on a black shield. _Knights Hospitaller; explains a lot_. "You know," he drawled, "if you really want to thank me, maybe you'll come pay me a visit at the church. As I'm sure you can guess, I don't get too many intellectual types through my doors, and I'd be interested in hearing more of your views on things. From our brief conversation here, I'm inclined to believe you have a _unique_ perspective of the world." He held the lighter out, but wasn't prepared to give it back just yet. "Just a few hours. That's all I'm asking for. And you don't even have to tell me where you live." He gave the brunet a teasing wink. "I get that you're trying not to tip me off and have me follow you home."

"I don't know, Father. I -"

"One. Visit." Really, that's all he would need - only an amateur would require more than that. He put the Zippo in Hakkai's palm, and closed the brunet's hand around it, lingering for a moment before slowly withdrawing with a light drag of fingertips against the soft, pale skin. "A small _sacrifice_ , don't you think?" He smirked again when he saw the barely perceptible widening of the other's eyes. "I'll try not to make it too painful." He held his cigarette between his index and middle fingers, and giving the other a wink and a small bow, he drawled, "Think about it, at least. See you around, Hakkai." He managed to hold back the smug grin - he knew the other would show up on his doorstep before too much longer. Hakkai was just so conveniently predictable. He turned then, seeming to vanish into the shadows after just a couple of paces.

Hakkai's breath caught sharply at the illusion, and then he glanced down at the card he still held in his hand. He spied a trash bin, and he made his way over to it, prepared to throw it away. At the last minute, he slid the paper into his pocket instead, and then turned and ran towards his home, more anxious than ever to get off of the streets.

* * *

It had taken Hakkai three days to talk himself into going to visit the strange priest. Mostly, it was a sense of obligation, and not desire, that had swayed him. Every time he'd thought about the raven's request, he'd felt an inexplicable wave of guilt. After all, Father Nii had returned his precious memento to him without making a big deal out of it. And, as those thugs had so aptly stated, such an item _would_ be quite valuable to the right buyer. A few hours of his time really did seem a small price to pay in exchange. Besides, he knew that he wouldn't stop obsessing about it until he'd repaid his debt - if one could really call it that. He still wasn't entirely convinced he _owed_ someone for an act of kindness.

A look of concern settled on his face as he entered Sector Delta. That part of the city was among the worst in terms of crime and administrative neglect. The government seemed to want very little to do with what it had deemed a 'lost area'. The rule of law didn't seem to apply there, the police preferring instead to focus their resources on the remaining three quadrants. Because of that, Sector Delta was a veritable cesspool of degenerates and scum, and he found himself wondering just how crazy a person would have to be to _want_ to minister there; he questioned his own sanity for even being there for a 'visit'. As he made his way through the dark and dingy streets, he cast an apprehensive glance skyward. Many joked that Sector Delta was such a shithole that even the sun was afraid to enter it. The media had even referred to it as Purgatory; going there was truly hell on earth. A grim smile crossed his face as he looked at the lengthening shadows and bland, filthy buildings. He was sure it was all in his mind, but there seemed to be some truth to the tales; despite being mid-afternoon, the streets felt like they were ensconced in perpetual evening.

He paused in a doorway, taking a quick look at Nii's business card before shoving it back in his pocket and moving on. He _never_ came to this part of town; not that he had ever _wanted_ to. However, despite being clueless about his destination, he knew better than to stop and ask for directions. That was a sure-fire way to get robbed if he was lucky, killed if he wasn't. Even so, minding his own business and looking as though he belonged there was still no guarantee of his safety. Trouble had a way of making an appearance where he was concerned, and between the out-of-control crime and the general freaks that frequented the area, there was a high probability that he'd get caught up in something. He crossed the road, and then turned down a narrow side street, trying not to look too conspicuous as he scanned for _anything_ that could pass for a house of worship.

He made a slight face as he turned onto a slightly arced crescent and the scent of urine and decay assaulted his nostrils. He sidestepped a couple of vagrants that sat propped up against a boarded up building, though whether they were dead, drunk or simply sleeping, Hakkai didn't know - nor did he _want_ to. Pretending not to hear the aged hooker propositioning him, he crossed the street to get away from the increasing number of people occupying the sidewalk. After another half block or so, he passed by a non-descript building that was covered in graffiti. He barely spared it a second glance; however, the badly lit sign over the porch that bore a small cross and the light-faded bumper sticker on the front door that read 'Jesus Saves' made him pause. Cocking his head to the side, he looked at the dilapidated structure, wondering if it probably should have been condemned years ago. " _That's_ a church?" he murmured aloud, only to start in surprise a moment later when he felt a large, strong hand clamp onto the back of his neck.

"Yeah, it's a fucking church, Pretty Boy," a voice hissed in his ear. "Looking for a bit of spiritual fulfillment?" He felt a hot, heavy snort of air against his ear, followed by a lewd drag of a tongue around the shell and along his cheek. It sent a shiver of revulsion through him, though he couldn't really jerk his head away given the hold the stranger had on him. "Maybe _we'll_ just fill ya instead…it'll be just as satisfying. Well, for us, anyway."

Hakkai could feel himself being dragged towards an alley, and feeling slightly panicked, he said, "I didn't mean any disrespect by it. It just wasn't what I'd been expecting."

The voice snorted again, the grip tightening as another hand ran gropingly over the butter soft fabric of his leather coat. "You came awfully far from home to do a bit of sightseeing. Hope it was worth it." Two short, sharp whistles came from the unseen assailant, and then sounds of shuffling feet could be heard from the shadows.

After a couple of moments, Hakkai felt himself being shoved forcefully towards the side of a building, and as he stumbled, he managed to put his hands up in front of him to keep from smashing his face into the bricks. Turning around, he finally faced his attacker, though he couldn't keep his eyes from widening in both shock and horror at what he saw. The man who had initially accosted him was abnormally large - at least seven feet tall - and rather disfigured. The skin on his face looked like it had been badly burned and was melting off of him, his eyes were pale and milky as though he were blind, and when he grinned, Hakkai saw the forked tongue. With a shudder of disgust, he wiped at his cheek with the back of his sleeve, as if that would remove the other's touch from his skin. 

Four others appeared, and though they were smaller, they were no less hideous looking. He'd heard rumours of horribly disfigured and mutated people living there, made that way from years of cohabitating among the toxic waste drums and radioactive debris that were conveniently dumped on the edge of the Sector. Like most people, the brunet had always assumed the stories to be gross exaggerations; tales fabricated by dissenters looking to create disorder and anarchy. He'd always believed that even if the government underutilized its resources in Sector Delta and showed considerable apathy in making the area even remotely desirable, it wouldn't deliberately poison its citizens. Yet, looking at these men with their wheezing rales and awkward gaits, he knew without a doubt that it was true. A dark sadness settled in his eyes, and a small, humourless smile curved his lips upward; seeing them made him lose a bit more of what little faith he still had left in humanity. He almost felt the need to apologize for it, if not for the fact that he was currently being held against his will and feeling decidedly uncomfortable with the whole situation.

"Something wrong, Precious?" the tall man purred, his words ending in a wheezed chuckle. "You don't think a freak like me is pretty enough for the cover of GQ?" He snickered darkly. "That's ok. I'll fuck you from behind, and you can pretend I'm whoever you want me to be."

Hakkai visibly grimaced at that suggestion, and tried to sidle his way towards the street, only to be stopped by a sudden movement and low growl from one of the other men. Turning a wary eye back to the one who had originally accosted him, he said, "Please don't." He winced slightly when the five broke into raucous laughter, one of them uttering a sneered, "Did you hear? He said _please_!" He worried his lower lip with his teeth for a moment, and then whispered, "Please. I-I don't want to hurt anyone else."

The five exchanged brief glances, and then erupted into rough guffaws once more. "That's ok," one of the smaller men hissed. "We don't want to hurt you, either, Sweetness. After all, pretty toys like you don't come along every day - 'specially 'round these parts." He reached out and petted a bony hand through Hakkai's hair, only to laugh again when it was swatted away. After a few moments, he tried again, though this time he grabbed a handful of the chocolate tresses. As the other struggled, he murmured gently, "Shh...shh...it's ok. It'll all feel good _real soon_."

"That's right," cooed another in his ear, and he ran the edge of a thickened, yellow fingernail around the edge of Hakkai's ear and along his jaw. "It's not just about _us_. We'll make it good for you too, Sugar." His blank, milky eyes flicked over to the tallest mutant. "Don't be afraid. Despite how he looks, Adamar really _is_ quite popular, both with the ladies _and_ with the gents." His smile turned mocking. "Or he was, until he decided to go for a swim in the lake..." A hissed chuckle spilled from the man's lips, and then he flicked his tongue obscenely, letting the tip brush against Hakkai's cheek, and snickering at the brunet's expression. With his friend holding him, Hakkai had been unable to jerk his head away from the unwanted touch, and grinning lewdly, he repeated the gesture, this time letting his tongue trail purposefully over the pale flesh. "Mmm, he tastes nice, Boss. Smells good, too. I love it when they're all squeaky clean like this." He chuckled lowly and then licked along Hakkai's pulse point, grabbing him harshly by the throat when his prey again tried to struggle.

Hakkai felt them grab his arms, pinning them harshly against the wall, the rough surface of the brick scraping his hands badly in the process. He could feel the sting of the wounds and blood slowly trickling down his fingers, and when he tried to pull away, his captors only pressed harder, injuring him further as the abrasions cut deeper. Effectively immobilized, he watched the other two small ones draw near, one reaching for his belt. Hakkai managed to deliver a hard kick to his assailant's face, and a hint of a smile turned his lips upward when he heard the soft, sickening crack of bone. He was rewarded for his resistance by being pulled slightly forward then slammed back hard against the wall, the impact of the bricks against his skull causing him to momentarily see stars. A hard fist to the gut from the injured mutant swiftly followed that, and as he coughed softly and tasted blood as he tried to regain his breath, he heard the angry growl and watched with a mixture of fascination and disgust as the other popped his dislocated jaw back into place.

"You're going to pay for that, Cherry," he hissed, a slight slurring lisp to his words now, and he pulled a switchblade from his pocket, an ugly smile on his face as he brandished the blade. "I'm going to take those pretty eyes of yours and then skullfuck you."

"Later," the one called Adamar commanded, an evil smile curving his misshapen lips upwards. "I want him to see this, and when I'm finished, you can do what you want with him." He gave a slow nod when the other growled and lowered the blade, albeit reluctantly. "Now, unwrap my present. And for fuck's sake, watch out for his feet this time."

The two holding Hakkai pressed their bodies against him, more or less pinning him in place. While the injured one kept a careful watch on the brunet, idly toying with his knife between his fingers, the last reached for his belt and undid it. "Please," Hakkai whispered. "Please stop this. I'm begging you." Again, he could feel that odd itching sensation just beneath his skin, and he found himself remembering his most recent transgressions, but even the guilt he felt over what he'd done was insufficient to quell the growing desire to retaliate. His hands curled into tight fists, his eyes falling closed as he tried to further reason with his captors and suppress the almost irrational need for vengeance he was feeling deep within him. "Let me go..." When the only response he got was more laughter, he nodded a little. "Then I am sorry - for both of us." 

He opened his eyes then, the green luminous and cold, and when he felt hands grasping at the waistband of his trousers and heard low, mocking snickering in his ear, he found himself no longer compelled to be reasonable. His only desire was to hurt those who sought to hurt him, his retribution escalatory, not equitable. The prickling sensation intensified, shifting and moving beneath his flesh to settle in his fingertips. His hands became blistering cold for a moment before there was an agonized scream from the two men who held him as their bodies violently erupted in an all-consuming white-hot flame, the fire quickly destroying them and leaving nothing but charred embers on the pavement. Now free, Hakkai pressed his fingers together, tiny sparks licking at the tips, and as he drew his hands apart, two balls of blue-white flame exploded from the palms, striking the other two and setting them alight, as well.

The screams and the smell of burning flesh and hair seemed to draw Hakkai back to the present, and his eyes wide, the eerie back glow dimming from them, he dropped to his knees. There was a haunted look in the green depths as he looked around him, and then down at his upturned hands. For a long moment, he remained motionless, and then he started to shiver as he murmured, "Not again..."

Adamar stared in stunned disbelief at his fallen comrades. "What did you do?" he demanded, his voice steadily rising in a combination of fear and anger. "How did you do that? What _are_ you?" With a sneer, he pulled a knife of his own and licked the blade ominously before pointing it at Hakkai. " _Answer me_!"

"I don't know," Hakkai replied quietly, not looking up at Adamar. "I'm so sorry, but I just...don't know." Now that his lust for revenge had been sated, Hakkai could feel the pounding in his head and the dull throb in his injured hands that pulsed just slightly off from the one in his temples. The sensation left him feeling as though he was still moving, and he was so nauseous from the perpetual vertigo that he thought he might be sick - if he could muster the energy to do so. He gasped sharply as the lone mutant closed the distance between them and grabbed a handful of his hair, jerking his head back at an awkward angle. There was the press of cold steel against his throat, and he swallowed thickly, the action causing the blade to move slightly. He could feel the hatred coming from the other man, and the sickly sweet stench of charred flesh hung heavy in the air, serving as a reminder to Hakkai of what he'd done. 

He let his eyes fall closed then, making no move to resist Adamar, the fight having been drained out of him. It wasn't so much _who_ he'd killed that weighed so heavily on his conscience; he truly believed that they'd deserved their fate, just like most of the others he'd slaughtered in his lifetime. No, his guilt stemmed from the fact that for a brief moment, while it was all happening, he'd actually _enjoyed_ seeing their terror and watching them suffer. He smiled a little, the expression rather out of place given the circumstances. He didn't want to die, but deep down, he thought that maybe he deserved it. After all, it would be retaliatory at that point. "Just do it," he said softly, an eerie, humourless laugh following that. There hadn't been any salvation for anyone he'd ever cared about; it seemed fitting that he should receive the same consideration. And at least this way, he wouldn't hurt anyone else.

Hakkai felt Adamar's hand shift slightly as he tightened his grip on the knife, and he inhaled sharply, but softly, when the keen edge of the metal bit into his flesh. Faced with his own mortality his anxiety spiked, and despite his estrangement from religion, he found himself starting to silently murmur the Confiteor anyway.

"I can't let you do that, Skippy..."

Hakkai was only a few lines in, his mind barely registering the lilting voice followed by the gunshot. Moments later, he felt Adamar fall to the ground in front of him, the tip of the knife grazing a superficial scratch across the brunet's throat and partway along his collarbone. Hakkai's eyes flew open, his expression one of utter shock as he saw the dead mutant at his side, blood pooling from the perfect kill shot to the temple, and then his attention snapped to the street, his eyes going impossibly wider. There, at the entrance to the alleyway, stood Father Nii, the revolver from their encounter the other day still held in firing position, his indigo gaze fixed on the fallen man. The intensity of that look turned Hakkai's blood cold; he couldn't ever recall seeing something that dark or vengeful in his entire life - save for in his own expression. "F-Father?"

Nii's gaze shifted just slightly to the brunet, and his lips turned upwards ever so slightly in a malignant smile. "Hakkai," he purred, and he tilted his head just slightly. His eyes once again obscured by the light against his glasses, he slowly lowered his arm as the smile widened. He made his way to where Hakkai knelt, and sidestepping the crimson puddle that was quickly forming on the pavement, he extended his free hand to the brunet in offering. "You poor lamb."

* * *

"So, you finally decided to come see me after all." Nii glanced over his shoulder at the man sitting at the small table in his kitchen. It had been about ten minutes since the priest had found the other in the alley, and in the time since, the brunet hadn't said much. When Hakkai didn't respond, he snorted in amusement and turned his attention back to the contents of his one cupboard. After a few more moments of searching, he found the vial he'd been looking for, and he rejoined his visitor, setting the glass vessel down just in front of Hakkai's folded hands. "You might want to put some of that on your scratch. I'd hate for you to wake up tomorrow morning and start looking like your friend there."

Hakkai's eyes shifted from where they'd been staring blankly at the tabletop to the bottle, and then briefly to Nii. "Oh. Yes, thank you," he replied quietly, and after a moment's hesitation, he reached for it and uncapped it. It smelled faintly antiseptic, but there was an underlying sweetness to it that he didn't recognize - almost anise-like, only sharper. "What is it?"

The raven smirked around the cigarette he'd slid between his lips, and after patting down his cassock and coming up empty handed in his quest for a match, he reached for the candle that burned on the table and lit the end. "Angel's Blood." The smirk widened slightly as he inhaled. He saw no need to tell the other that he meant that quite literally.

Hakkai arched a brow, and then turned his gaze to the contents of the vial. The fluid was an opalescent pink and rather viscous. He dipped a finger in it and rubbed it against his thumb - it was sticky like tree sap. He frowned slightly. "I've never heard of it."

Nii snickered softly as he exhaled a wisp of blue-grey smoke. "I'd imagine there are quite a few things in this world that you've never heard of, and yet in the right context, I'm sure you'd still believe what you were told. You doubt me because I'm not a doctor, yet if you were prescribed that by a legitimate physician, you'd take it without question. I mean, I can understand being a bit nervous; after all, you've had a _big day_. But really, what cause have I given you to be so paranoid towards me? By my count, I've seen you twice, and helped you out...twice." He shrugged a little as he took a longer drag off of his cigarette. "Believe me, if I wanted to harm you, I'd certainly come up with a more interesting and creative way to do it." His eyes narrowed slightly in pleasure and his grin widened when Hakkai picked the bottle back up and began to daub the ointment over his skin without further comment. 

"It stings a bit," the brunet remarked once he'd recapped the vessel and had pushed it back across the table to the priest.

"Mmhmm, it will," Nii replied matter-of-factly. "It means it's doing what it's supposed to." He crushed out his cigarette filter and smiled amicably at Hakkai. "So, since I've got you to myself for a little while, is there anything in particular you'd like to talk about?" he asked as he retrieved a decanter of port and a couple of glasses from another cupboard.

"Nothing, really."

Nii paused mid-pour, and arched a raven brow at his guest before snickering lowly. "You lie. While I'm flattered to think that you came all this way solely for my good looks and sparkling company, I'd be willing to bet there's more to it than that. Cheers." He passed a glass to Hakkai and took a sip from his own.

Green eyes studied the crimson liquid for a moment. "Communion wine?"

Nii rolled his eyes and laughed again. "You really don't have much faith in me as a priest, do you?" Though he did have to admit, that _would be_ something he'd do...

Hakkai had the good grace to pink a little at that, and he drew his goblet closer to him, his fingers lightly resting on the glass base. "I-I'm sorry, Father. That was rude of me. It's just -" He cut himself off and glanced sidelong at the raven. "I've been thinking about something you said the other day. Are you _really_ what you claim to be?"

Nii peered thoughtfully at him from over the rim of his glass, and after he'd set it back down, he drawled, "Now what would make you ask me something like that?"

"I don't know. You don't dress or act like any priest I've ever seen."

The raven glanced down at his vestments, and then gave a blasé shrug. "It's comfortable enough. Besides, I heard that retro was making a comeback."

Ignoring the glib response, Hakkai pressed on to the true crux of his current angst. "I've never seen a priest shoot and kill someone before."

Nii smirked. "That bothers you?"

"Of course it bothers me!" Hakkai replied, not quite able to believe the other's answer. "You killed a man, and for no good reason!"

"Hn..." The raven trailed off and chuckled lowly. "And what would you call what _you_ did to those other four in the alley, Sunshine? That was quite the neat trick. Or the three the other night? Death really does seem to have a way of following you around."

"It was self-defence. I didn't want to, but I had no choice."

Nii laughed harder. "No choice but to barbecue them? A bit of overkill, don't you think?" he remarked, his words slightly taunting. "See, I knew there was a reason I found you interesting, Kiddo. You have this completely skewed worldview, and it's _fascinating_. You try to rationalize your own sin, calling it self-defence, or an instinctive reaction, or something that happened in the heat of the moment, but the simple truth is this: murder is still murder, regardless of the reason. Giving it some pretty covering to downplay what it is doesn't change the essence of the thing. It's no wonder you flounder in your own darkness the way you do. It must be exhausting to spend that much energy seeking penance for an act you can't seem to help but commit." He shrugged a little as he took another sip from his glass. "But then, I suppose I could use your argument - I saw someone in trouble, and I. Had. No. Choice." His smirk widened again, giving a brief flash of even, white teeth. "Would you rather have died? Personally, I don't think that shuffling off this mortal coil would have fit into the long term plans of a self-flagellating masochist like you."

Hakkai's breath caught in his throat, and he forced himself to look away from those piercing indigo eyes. For wont of something to do, he grabbed his glass and drained it, trying to ignore the way it had felt like the raven had been looking directly into his soul. It made him uncomfortable; not many people could read him so accurately. Sanzo had been able to, and Gojyo on occasion but it had taken considerable time for them to get to that point. "No, Father. I'm...grateful to you; please don't think I'm that apathetic about my life. It's just...I'm just another sinner in a world full of sin, Father. Not worth saving."

Nii chuckled softly on hearing that. The depth of the darkness within Hakkai was truly a thing of beauty, and he was beginning to see just what purpose the pretty brunet would serve when he eventually returned home with him. Truly, the role was _perfect_ , and there could be no better choice. "And yet, you continue to seek forgiveness - from your friends, from God..." His lips curved upwards in a hint of a smirk. "I'd say you were even looking for it from me. But tell me something, just what is it you want saving from? From Hell?" He laughed harder when he saw Hakkai's head snap up at that, an odd, somewhat unsettled expression in his eyes. "Hn. A waste of time. Heaven, Hell - it's all a matter of perspective, don't you think?" He snorted softly as he pulled another cigarette from the crumpled carton and slipped it between his upturned lips. "Personally, the very idea of floating around for eternity on a cloud bores the hell out of me; I couldn't imagine a worse fate." He lit the end of the stick with the candle, and then refilled both of their glasses.

Hakkai's mouth dropped open slightly and he just gaped at the cleric for several long moments, trying to figure out how a man with such _blasphemous_ beliefs could ever have been ordained. "There is _no way_ that you are a priest." His eyes narrowed a little. "Satanic priest, maybe."

"Satan? Hn." He exhaled a lungful of smoke and laughed hard at that. _That_ was a name he hadn't heard in a _very_ long time. "I _am_ a priest. Of sorts. Just probably not the type you'd been expecting. Let's just say we follow the same theology, but I've got a different, more up-to-date version of the manual. Still, if that's what you think you want then trust me when I say that I can _save you_. The road towards salvation is a long one, and most who set upon the path wind up with a bad case of buyer's remorse. Like with most things metaphysical, people blindly stumble in, not knowing what they're getting into or what to expect, and the end result is a lot different from what they'd hyped it up to be in their minds. Are you sure you can handle that, Kiddo?"

Hakkai's brow furrowed in confusion as he listened to the odd priest, and with a heavy sigh, he said quietly, "I just want to be a good person and not hurt anyone anymore."

Nii snorted somewhat contemptuously at that, a couple of wisps of grey-blue smoke coming out of his nostrils. "A good person," he muttered under his breath. "Do you even know what that is?"

The brunet's confusion deepened. "Someone who follows God's will. Does what He asks of them, follows His Commandments..."

A raven brow arched, and Nii's lips twitched for a moment before he burst out laughing, obviously greatly amused by the answer. "Is that what you think? Hn. I think it's time you learned the difference between perception and reality. You need to see things as they are, not as you believe them to be. You've had so much dogma and theological bullshit shoved down your throat over the course of your life, it's no wonder you haven't got a clue." He grabbed his wineglass and drained it, and then nodded towards the brunet's. "Drink up. We're going on a bit of a field trip."

Hakkai looked slightly affronted by Nii's words, and it seemed as though he was going to say something, but his curiosity burned stronger than the slight, and he held his tongue. After a moment's hesitation, he silently finished his wine, hoping the slight bit of heat in his stomach would quell the uneasiness he felt as he glanced warily at the raven. "Where are we going?" he asked quietly, and to his chagrin, he noticed that the scant bit of daylight that had been visible out the small window was just about gone.

"Don't worry; it's not far." There was a soft rustling of fabric as the cleric got to his feet. "An outing would do you good, I think." When Hakkai stood, he smirked around his cigarette when he saw the slight unsteadiness in the brunet's gait and the way his pupils had dilated to where the luminous green took on an aura-like appearance that made them seem all the more brilliant in the low light. "Let's go now - left foot, right foot - that's the way." He chuckled darkly as he stubbed out his smoke, and then he grasped Hakkai's elbow, his touch feather light and deceptively strong. He steered them back through his house, though instead of leading the brunet outside, he turned down a short corridor and entered the church, moving towards the apse. Standing in the sanctuary, he released the other and then turned around and slid his hands into his pockets before leaning blasphemously against the altar, his attention focused intently on Hakkai. "What do you see?" he asked, and he shifted his gaze just enough to have the light settle on his lenses. "And I don't mean literally; I know as well as you do that this is a church and that it has the typical dressings and accoutrements one would find in any of a thousand others in the world."

Hakkai frowned a little, somewhat confused by the request, and he really couldn't see the point of this exercise. A part of him wondered if Nii didn't drink that often and was being negatively affected by the alcohol; it would certainly explain the odd behaviour. Nevertheless, he turned and looked at the chancel, then out at the nave, and despite actually entertaining the request and searching for something out of the ordinary, he didn't really see _anything_ that stood out. After a moment, he glanced over his shoulder toward the priest. "Nothing. It's a church."

"Exactly," Nii replied, obviously satisfied with that answer. He slipped one hand free, and held it out at arm's length in front of him, then gave a quick upward flick of his wrist. "And now?"

Hakkai arched a brow in curiosity at the gesture and then turned once more to face the back of the church. A small, sharp gasp escaped him as he watched a shadow of pure darkness descend on his field of vision, slowly moving forward in an almost undulating manner, covering everything until there was only black. He raised a hand and held it mere inches in front of his face, and found that he couldn't see that, and then he turned and felt for Nii in the darkness, only to discover that despite the other being right beside him, he found he couldn't touch him. He shivered then, a heavy, despairing chill surrounding him, and a small tremulous breath escaped him. He could barely breathe from the weight of the impenetrable shadow and the crushing desolation that followed. "Darkness," he whispered lowly.

"And that's all there is, Kiddo. You think God cares, do you? That's so adorable, but disgustingly naïve. Look around you; do you see _any_ light here in this, His house? No matter how much you may want it, and how hard you pray for it, for someone like you, there is no hope and there is no salvation. There's _nothing_. God isn't _good_. He's far too apathetic to care about the trivialities that go on down here. The _only thing_ mankind managed to get right in its little Book was that He made human beings in His image - cold, selfish and self-serving; hardly the benevolent deity He's made out to be. Oh sure, He _is_ capable of acts of compassion - or at least, He can create the illusion of caring when it suits His purposes. Kind of like he has with you."

Hakkai felt numb as he listened to the priest speak, the cold and the darkness penetrating his soul and feeding the guilt and loneliness he carried around inside of him. "Compassion?" he murmured, his voice sounding slightly flat. "How do you figure He’s shown me that, Father? I've lost everything that's ever been important to me. My parents. My wife. My friends."

"Hm, true. But you're still alive, aren't you? You've been spared from this _nothing_ , and are still free to run around and pray for forgiveness, all the while blissfully oblivious to the fact that every word you reverently whisper falls on deaf ears." Nii's low, ominous chuckle echoed in the darkness. "Let me help you, Hakkai. Tell me about your friends - the three friends you go visit. The friends who died because of your actions - or inactions, as the case may be."

The brunet's breathing quickened and became shallower, memories of his companions coming unbidden to his mind as the events of that night played in an endless, horrific loop in the shadows in front of him. He saw Gojyo's still smiling face as his blank eyes stared unseeingly at the ceiling; he'd not seen the blade before it had slit his throat. Goku had been sprawled awkwardly on the floor like a ragdoll; Hakkai hadn't been able to look at the battered face, though he could still see the way dark crimson had pooled with the spilled milk on the linoleum to create a greasy, opaque pink smear against the teen's body. He hadn't been able to tell where Sanzo had been stabbed, his clothes were that stained with blood. And when Yaone had come after him with her dagger, he hadn't been able to move in his shock. She'd slit his belly, and as he'd awkwardly pressed his hand to his gut to hold in his organs, he'd watched Sanzo shakily aim his revolver at her and manage to deliver a perfect shot to the back of her head. "Please," he said lowly. "I-I don't want to talk about that."

"No? That's alright; I already know how that story ends. I can see it as well as you can. It must really grate for you to know that by some _miracle_ you managed to survive. Another topic, then? Very well. Tell me about your parents."

Hakkai's heart ached as he thought about them, the first people he'd _truly_ lost, and closing his eyes tightly, he shook his head. "I -" His breath hitched slightly, and he wrapped his arms securely around himself, as if trying to get some sort of warmth into him, yet his body felt just as cold and oppressive as his surroundings. "Please, stop this. I-I don't want to think about it."

Nii chuckled again. "Sorry, Pet. You kind of brought this on yourself. I warned you when we first met to not take everything you see at face value and to be wary of things you stumble across in the darkness, and yet here you are. I never forced you to come here. But just remember, this is all a part of the process," he said almost gently. "You need to be empty before you can be properly filled. To carry on without completing this _crucial_ step would be like topping up a glass of Dom Perignon with a splash of Mad Dog. Believe me, this is for your own good. Now, tell me about them. About what happened to them."

"I-I don't remember."

"You're not trying very hard," Nii purred in an almost sing-song voice. "Think."

"I - she was killed in a robbery when I was four. My father - they'd divorced. I spent the rest of my childhood in an orphanage."

The priest laughed out loud at that. "Is that the story the nuns told you?" After a moment, he sighed. "Well, we can't have you living with that unpleasant little delusion now, can we? Hn, not when the truth is what will set you free." He undid the knot in the black watered-silk fascia at his waist and removed it, letting it fall carelessly to the floor. As he did, the nothingness surrounding Hakkai grew stronger as the illusion of his fallen friends faded, and Nii took a step towards the brunet so that the other would still be able to hear him in the growing darkness. "It may interest you to know that I knew your dear old dad; he and I worked together in the same department." He snickered softly at the surprised gasp, and he held a finger up just in front of the other's lips to silence him, a delicious thrum of pleasure running through him when he saw the complete anguish in Hakkai's expression. And he was looking forward to seeing just how much further he could push; he really did love his job sometimes. "He never did marry your mom. They sort of _cohabitated_ \- just like being in wedded bliss, but without all that nasty commitment. Everyone turned a blind eye to it, because most of us looked for ways to get off too, so no one really had any reason to care. And then, in a moment of indiscretion, or lack of judgement, or whatever, _you_ came along, and your daddy's career was essentially over. Bastard children are kind of against company policy and all, and as punishment, he was killed for it." He chuckled again when he saw Hakkai visibly tense. "Don't feel bad, Kiddo. It wasn't like he went into this blind. He knew the consequences of his actions." He snickered softly. "Divorce...that's good." He unbuttoned the clerical collar around his neck and tossed it onto the crumpled sash. "Anyway, to make a long story short, your parents didn't _divorce_. They were executed, and you, being what you are, were spared and taken away to be raised as a proper God-fearing child, left to make your way in the world. And you were forgotten about; after all, no one assumed you'd amount to anything special - it's certainly never happened before."

Hakkai could feel a slight prickling sensation at the corners of his eyes. The whole story sounded utterly ridiculous, and yet he couldn't help but remember Adamar's words from the alley. Rather than voice his incredulity, he found himself asking very quietly instead, "What am I?"

"Right now, a liability. Already, you're making yourself obvious to the humans, and if any of them ever realized the truth of your existence, they'd never be able to handle it. Or you." He lightly skimmed his fingers along Hakkai’s cheek in an almost tender gesture, and he smirked as the darkness slowly ebbed away, bringing the brunet back to their current surroundings. "But I can help you."

Hakkai blinked a little as his vision returned to him, and he started slightly when he saw Nii standing right in front of him, almost nose-to-nose with the cleric. He tried to pull away from the almost uncomfortable heat he felt in the other's touch, but he found himself unable to move. The only thing he could do was stare back into those dark, intense eyes. He wasn't quite sure what the other had done to him - he assumed that there had been some sort of drug in the wine - and while he _wanted_ to be angry, the only things he seemed capable of feeling were despair and sadness. "I don't believe you," he said quietly after a moment, though his voice lacked any real conviction. He was just _empty_. "This is some sort of joke; it has to be."

Nii laughed. "Sorry, Kiddo, it isn't. You and me, we're the same, whether you like it or not." A foreboding smile curved his lips upward. "You just need to let go of those _restricting_ human limitations and delusions, and see things the way I see them. Everything I've told you will make sense when you're not so blinded by your _farce_ of a life. _That's_ the real joke: you were never meant to exist, and yet, here you still are, living on while everyone and everything around you turns to dust and fades away. Bye bye!" He gave a half-hearted wave, and then straightened, his expression becoming serious. "But before we continue..." He chuckled ominously as he held a finger up in front of his throat and made a downward motion, the buttons on his cassock flying open as he did so. Stripping off the garment and standing bare-chested in front of the brunet, he let out a small, pleasured groan of relief as he extended his wings to their full span in an eerie sort of stretch, and then he folded them loosely behind him as he shook himself out. "Ahhh... _much_ better." 

Hakkai felt a jolt of fear run through him, a small, stunned sound escaping him as he watched the other reveal himself to him. His eyes took in the wide, black wings, and he shivered slightly when he felt the sheer _power_ the other was exuding. He had no idea what was going on, and his heart hammering loudly in his chest, he murmured, "Devil..."

The raven shifted his attention back to Hakkai. "Devil?" A small snort of amusement escaped him. "Hardly. I'm known as the Archangel Ukoku, one of God's Seekers and a Captain in His army. The devout refer to me as the Angel of Darkness, and I _kill_ in His name." 

Hakkai's eyes grew even wider at the revelation, and he could feel a stinging burn at the corners. Some of the things that Nii - no, _Ukoku_ \- had said to him were beginning to make sense, and he was starting to feel overwhelmed by everything. "S-seeker?"

"I seek. Obviously," Ukoku drawled as he pulled a cigarette from his pocket. Now that he had revealed himself, he saw no need to carry on with his mortal pretences, and snapping a finger, he sparked the end of the stick. "God, like humans, wants things. Usually people. Like you. But He doesn't want to go get them Himself, so He sends a Seeker. Like me. Usually, He doesn't send me, but you're something of a special case." He waved his hand dismissively, seemingly rather apathetic about the whole thing. "It's really nothing to get your head all in a flap about, Pet."

"Why me?"

Ukoku snickered. "Still haven't figured it out? Hn...I told you before that the road to salvation was a misunderstood one. He wants me to save you. _Truly_ save you. Which brings us to decision time, Kiddo. Do you _really_ want to be saved, or do you just want to escape?" He moved his arm, and a pure black sword appeared in his hand. Smirking at Hakkai from around his cigarette, the obsidian blade pressed lightly against the brunet's throat, he murmured, "The darkness is salvation - if nothing else, it's an escape from the misery of living here." He chuckled softly when he saw the way that Hakkai was glowering at him, and he opened his hand, the weapon vanishing as he did so. "Good." He tipped his chin down a little, peering at the brunet from over the rims of his glasses and allowing the other to see the darkness in his own gaze. "You have your mom's eyes." His smirk widened and turned decidedly devious. "She looked at me the same way just before I killed her." Something akin to sympathy flickered across his face. "Pity." His eyes raked briefly over the brunet's form, and he chuckled. "She _really_ could get the old juices flowing. Sort of like you do."

Ukoku's words chilled him to the soul, drawing out whatever warmth and humanity had remained and leaving him empty. A shell. As much as he didn't want to believe what the angel had said about his mother, he also knew it to be unequivocally true. But it was the look that Ukoku gave him that broke him. "Why?" he demanded quietly, and he met the dark eyes, the libidinous indigo filling him with a combination of horror, hatred, revulsion and need. "Why did you have to kill her, too?" His eyes now blazing brilliantly as a few angry tears coursed down his cheeks, he could feel a surge of power building inside of him, and as the shockwave exploded outwards, splintering pews and violently shattering the windows in a shower of glass, he was able to break free of the other's hold on him. He landed a solid punch to the raven's jaw, though when Ukoku didn't move, and even _laughed_ at his attempt, what remaining fight there had been drained away, and he dropped to his knees in front of the angel. " _Why_?" he asked plaintively, his voice desolate.

Ukoku didn't answer for a long time. He glanced around him briefly, silently admiring the resulting carnage from Hakkai's outburst, and then he stared down at the broken man at his feet, letting him despair in his own grief for a few moments. "Why indeed?" he drawled, an insidious grin on his face. "Think about it. The world is a great big festering hole. How much worse would it be if people didn't have something to put their faith in and believe in? It would cause anarchy; though maybe mankind needs another major culling - it's certainly due." He snorted in amusement. "You called me a devil before. I suppose that the only real difference between devils and angels is humanity's perception of them. Devils are just angels who refuse to perpetuate The Beautiful Lie. And humanity sees them for what they are, and sees us for what they _think_ we are; how better to ensure unconditional support and loyalty than by having an 'enemy' to be protected from? Good and evil are really one in the same; it all comes down to a matter of perspective. So bearing that in mind, who is truly evil? The devils, who make it known that they don't care, or the angels, who attempt to cover up the fact that they don't care? I'd think that we were the greater of two similarly coloured evils, and in that sense, to protect ourselves from any potential secrets and tidbits of information your mommy might have picked up, she was martyred."

"But she was just one person in a world of billions."

"It only takes one person to start the winds of change blowing. And to be honest with you, everyone - God, the devils, the angels - we're all fine with maintaining the status quo. Humanity isn't ready to know yet that there's really nothing out there, and nothing better to look forward to. I suppose in a sense, the lie is one of compassion, but it's a compassion of convenience." 

"So this - all of this -" Hakkai paused to gesture around him with his hand. "-it's all for nothing?"

"Yes, pretty much," the angel replied offhandedly, and he gave a blasé shrug. "Rather disheartening, isn't it?"

"I -" Hakkai fell silent then, his head bowing slightly, his spirit fully and completely broken by the revelation. A couple more tears threatened to spill, and he thought he might laugh hysterically at the futility of it all. He understood Ukoku's reasoning that people couldn't handle knowing the truth, and he sighed tremulously as he shivered under the weight of that harsh, cold reality.

Ukoku grasped Hakkai's hand and pulled him to his feet, a hint of a smirk curving his lips upwards when he felt the other's arms go around his waist, as though he were looking to be warmed. In a gesture that could have been mistaken for kindness, he lightly brushed the moisture from Hakkai's lashes with the pad of his thumb. "Try not to think too badly of us. We do have emotions and we do feel - we're just a lot more detached from the world, and as such, we tend to come across the way we do. I'm sure you've noticed that in yourself. The way you think and feel and act - it's very different from those around you, isn't it? Hn. Who ever would have guessed that your mom was just the vessel used in your creation and contributed practically nothing to your makeup. Save for some of your looks, you're all your father's son. Now come on; we need to get you ready." His smile widening, he almost tenderly embraced the other, and then lifted him and set him on the altar. A low chuckle escaped him as thin ribbons of darkness wound their way around the brunet's wrists, slithering down his body to wend around his ankles, and then back up to slide around his throat. He then reached for Hakkai's clothing, his eyes lidding slightly as he began to undo the buttons on his shirt.

Hakkai clung to the angel when he was hugged, the warmth of Ukoku's body making him feel a little bit better - though it wasn't until the other had pulled away from him and he could feel that iciness around his limbs that he became aware of his hands on his body. "What are you doing?" he asked, a slight note of panic in his voice when he went to struggle and he suddenly found himself flat on his back and effectively bound.

Ukoku laughed softly as he parted the fabric on Hakkai's shirt, exposing his chest and the jagged scar that traversed his belly. "Saving you. I did tell you that once you were empty, you'd be _filled_ , didn't I?" He unfastened Hakkai's belt and lowered the fly, the bindings around the brunet's legs seemingly unaffected by the clothing as Ukoku deftly removed the other's trousers. He smiled darkly as he let his eyes rove appreciatively over the tantalizing expanse of pale flesh, and after grasping, and then snapping the unremarkable crucifix from around Hakkai's throat, he reached out and trailed his fingertips along the bare form, moving from collarbone to navel, and then across his chest from left to right. "From misery to glory," he murmured, the smile widening when he heard Hakkai cry out in pain, a pinked, cross-shaped welt erupting across the brunet's skin from the heat of his touch. His tongue slowly slid across his lips. It had been a _very_ long time since he'd fucked a mortal body, and he wanted to savour it; especially since this one had been more or less condoned.

Hakkai panted harshly from the dull ache he felt on his chest, and again, he found himself feeling conflicted. He tried to tell himself that he didn't want this; he didn't want _any_ of it, and yet, he could feel his body reacting to the cold bindings and the pain and especially to the heated touch of the angel's fingers. He could feel a flush of arousal spreading across his cheeks, and though he had _wanted_ his voice to sound insistent, it instead came out as a wanton, "Please..."

"Well, since you insist," Ukoku purred darkly as he lightly cupped Hakkai's cheek, and then he trailed his fingers down the other's legs, starting at his thighs and stilling at his ankles, this touch still warm, but not hot enough to burn. Once there, he slowly slid the brunet's feet apart, and then pulled him closer to him, the darkness compensating by lengthening and attaching to the floor, holding Hakkai's legs open. Ukoku's eyes lidded further, and he again caressed the other's thighs, finding the brunet's flushed and painfully sensual appearance both _extremely_ erotic and amusingly sacrilegious as he lay there opened up on the altar. Again, he licked his lips, and then he leaned forward to trail a long, languid lick along the underside of Hakkai's erect cock, snapping his tongue teasingly over the tip and following that with a soft breath of air across the slit. His expression one of dark amusement, he held the brunet's gaze and leaned back just a little.

Hakkai's breath caught when he felt the other's fingers on him again, and he quickly caught his lower lip between his teeth, biting down against it to silence himself from making a sound. He swallowed thickly when he felt himself being moved, and when the action caused his arms to be extended above his head, he slowly curled his hands into fists. He felt slightly mortified at the position he found himself in, and yet, he found himself unwilling to move - especially when he felt the searing heat of the raven's tongue along his length. Unable to stop himself, he cried out loudly in pleasure, his cheeks immediately heating in shame for doing so. Guilt flashed through him as he remembered just _where_ he was, while at the same time, his cock pulsed with need and a shiver of want wracked his slender frame, his whole body aching for more. "Stop. This is wrong."

"Shh, shh," Ukoku soothed, and after lightly caressing over Hakkai's scar, he added, "In a few moments, you won't think so." He held a hand out in front of him, closing his fingers around the black dagger that appeared, and a wicked smile turned his lips upward as he again let his gaze travel over the brunet's naked form. He saw the way Hakkai's eyes widened slightly as the brilliant green took note of the blade, and after a moment's hesitation, he flipped the weapon over in his hand and drew it rapidly across his other wrist. The smile widened and turned even darker as he watched the thick, pearly-pink fluid drip from the wound and onto the stone altar.

Hakkai tensed a little when he saw Ukoku prepare to strike and he tugged at his restraints, a soft gasp escaping him a moment later as he watched the angel cut his own wrist. "Angel's blood..." he murmured absently, his voice low.

"Mm. Quite remarkable, really. And in your current state, it has a bit of a narcotic effect. Fortunate for me." He set the dagger down at Hakkai's side, and then turned his attention to his own trousers, loosing a small, hissed growl as he freed himself and rubbed some of his spilled vitae over his length. He closed his eyes for a couple of seconds and drew in a deep breath, and then he smirked as he held up his wounded arm and wiggled his fingers a little, the injury now completely healed. He moved his hips in a low, lazy circle, the action causing his cock to almost teasingly encircle Hakkai's ring, and then, his eyes narrowing and his expression turning slightly merciless, he snapped his body forward and buried himself completely in the other's ass.

Realization dawned on Hakkai, and thinking back on it, it had been when he'd treated his wounds that he'd first started feeling off. He twisted his hands around and tipped his head back to look at them, and it was with some surprise that he observed that the scrapes were nearly gone. The faint sound of a zipper drew his attention back to Ukoku, and when he saw the angel's dick, he renewed his struggling, tensing a little at the realization that this was really happening. He inhaled sharply when he felt the teasing press against his hole, and he again caught his lower lip between his teeth, trying to will himself to remain calm and to relax. However, when he was so harshly penetrated - and without any preparation - his body arched stiffly off of the alter as he cried out sharply and clenched his hands into tight fists, the bindings on his limbs and throat the only things holding him down. The forceful entry hurt, and his breath came in quick, sharp pants as he felt the uncomfortable thickness of Ukoku's cock inside of him, though it wasn't more than a second or two before he felt an unexpected numbness in his nether regions which soon became an almost pleasant warmth. He looked curiously at the angel and his struggling ceased, his eyes hazing over in a sort of blissful euphoria as the other began to thrust. The movements were hard and deep, but Hakkai seemed oblivious to them, instead marvelling at how the soothing heat had grown gradually stronger, and had begun radiating outwards to his extremities.

A smug smirk curved Ukoku's mouth upwards as he carefully watched Hakkai's face, and the more elated the other seemed to grow, the harder and more violently he thrust into the pliant body beneath him. His hands grasped harder to the brunet's hips, moving lower to grab his ass and the backs of his thighs, the grip tight enough to bruise the delicate human flesh. He felt a slight tingling down the length of his spine and along his wings indicative of his impending climax, and with a dark purr, he extended them a little, and then shifted his position just slightly so that he might drive in even deeper.

Hakkai's entire body felt like it was electrically charged and floating, the pleasure he was feeling so intense that he almost ached with the need to release. He became vaguely aware of images at the edge of his consciousness, and the longer he stayed joined with Ukoku, the sharper they became. He gradually came to realize that what he was seeing was confirmation of all the things the angel had told him, and while a lot of it was grossly disturbing, he found that in his current state, he really wasn't that bothered by any of it. It was as if he was, literally, being filled with knowledge, and it was liberating. He wanted to reach for the other, to pull him closer to prolong the moment, and again, he tugged at the shadows. Despite everything he'd said, and how much he'd protested, he wanted this. Dizzy from his own need, he breathed out a wanton, "Please, more."

Ukoku snickered lowly. "Greed is a cardinal sin," he murmured, and then he laughed again, his hands returning to Hakkai's hips and holding him down as his breath caught briefly. A moment later he hit his peak, and with a dark smile on his face, he pulsed his release, hard and fast, deep into the brunet's body, his hand moving to furiously stroke Hakkai's cock while his hips continued to piston into him as he sought to push the other over the edge.

Hakkai's eyes blinked open when he heard Ukoku's words, though before he could process them, let alone answer, he felt the angel tense, and then there was an intense heat flooding his body. The feel of the angel's hand on his throbbing erection seemed to set every nerve ending on fire, and he became hypersensitive to his surroundings. He was rapidly going into sensory overload as his desire continued to spiral upwards and out of control, and his breathing and heart rate quickened as everything started to once again overwhelm him. He cried out in a combination of pleasure and pain, his body feeling white hot and his mind going blank as his orgasm tore through him.

Ukoku stilled when he heard the shout, and he picked up his dagger with his free hand, his indigo eyes very carefully watching Hakkai. With the first pulse of the brunet's seed against his hand, he narrowed his gaze, and with considerable force, he drove the blade through Hakkai's heart, his dark smile widening as the brunet went immediately silent and still. Pulling free of the lifeless body, he carelessly wiped himself off with a bit of the altar cloth, and then fixed his trousers. His expression one of extreme satisfaction, he licked a bit of his blood from his wrist, and Hakkai's spend from his fingers, and then he reached into his pocket for his cigarettes, lighting one and taking a long draw as his eyes remained fixed on the motionless brunet.

About five minutes passed, the only movement coming from the fine wisps of blue-grey smoke that curled up from the cigarette dangling between Ukoku's lips. Finally, the perpetual smirk the angel wore widened just a fraction, and a moment later, there was a sharp, pained gasp from the brunet. He watched with some interest as Hakkai's bindings dissolved, and one slightly shaky hand grasped the dagger, crimson slowly running down the blade as the brunet tightened his grasp and in one fluid motion, pulled the weapon free. After another minute had passed, Hakkai sat up on the edge of the altar, his eyes closed, and his breathing slightly laboured as he blindly, but accurately, tossed the dagger back to Ukoku before leaning forward slightly, his elbows resting lightly on his knees. Neither one of them said anything for a while, and the only sounds were the background noise of the street through the broken windows, and the soft drip of blood from Hakkai's chest and palm onto the floor. Gradually, the deep red faded to a gentle, opalescent pink, and soon after that, the wounds closed and the brunet's breathing became steadier. "Why?" he asked, his voice soft yet seeming to echo in the room.

"To free you of that unnecessary mortal vessel," Ukoku replied, holding his cigarette between two fingers as he blew a series of smoke rings. "It was necessary."

"Hn." Hakkai's hands shifted to grasp the edge of the altar and he leaned forward a little more, his jaw clenched tightly. There was a soft, wet tearing sound, and then, with a pained growl, Hakkai arched his back as a pair of black wings, very similar to Ukoku's, appeared. With a slightly trembling hand, he pulled away the tattered remains of his shirt so that he could extend them to their full width, and then he let them hang slightly off to his sides to dry, the blood running down his back gradually slowing to a trickle, and then stopping altogether. It was then that Hakkai opened his eyes, the green luminous and abnormally brilliant as he let his gaze briefly travel over the damaged church, and then he slowly blinked and looked down at his hands, turning them over slowly as if inspecting them. "What am I?" he asked, his voice still quiet as it had been previously, but somehow seeming steadier. More controlled.

Ukoku smirked around his cigarette, and his eyes lidding slightly, he purred, "Beautiful." When he heard the soft snort from the other, he picked up the remainder of Hakkai's discarded clothing and set it on the edge of the altar beside him, his expression turning briefly contemplative as he watched the other wipe the blood from his body with a clean piece of the altar linen and then start to dress. "You are the Angel Hakkai, and like your father, Samael, you'll become one of God's Highest. Yet for your loyalty, you'll also be treated like one of the Fallen. It's that duality that makes you so intriguing and so desirable." He chuckled darkly and ran his fingers along the soft feathers at the leading edge of a wing, the sound growing a little louder when Hakkai inhaled sharply and tensed a bit at the touch. "Because of the colour of your wings, you'll also be a Captain in His army - a war angel - and because of your lineage, the devout will call you the Angel of Death, and you'll kill in His name."

Hakkai considered that for a minute, and then he laughed at the sheer irony of the past twenty-two years of his existence in the mortal world. At the very least, God had a sense of humour. He pushed himself off of the altar and finished fastening his trousers, and then his gaze shifted as he glanced sidelong at Ukoku. "I hate you. I hate both of you."

Ukoku laughed delightedly at that as he picked up his discarded cassock, and he draped it lightly over Hakkai's shoulders. "I thought you might. But deep down, I know you love me, too, even if you don't want to. After all, you can't completely despise the one who saves you, can you?"

Hakkai turned to directly face the raven then, and for several long moments, he just stared silently at him. Eventually, he reached up and took the cigarette from between Ukoku's lips and flicked it away, and then he kissed him soundly on the mouth. The embrace lacked intensity and passion, but there was no mistaking the subtle depth of emotion behind the gesture. As he pulled back, his eyes narrowed and the barest hint of a dark smirk flirted at the corners of his lips. "Perhaps not."

"Hn." The raven found considerable amusement in that, and after adjusting his slightly-askew glasses and nudging them up the bridge of his nose with a fingertip, he said, "Let's go. I'm tired of this place, and I'm sure He's anxious to meet you." Firmly grasping one of Hakkai's hands in his, he made a quick slashing motion in front of him with the other.

As the church exploded around them in a spectacular ball of fire, and people scurried out of the shadows on the street to see what had happened, the two angels paused for a moment to revel in the fear and uncertainty, and the subsequent litany of prayers, and then, the Beautiful Lie confirmed, they vanished into the night.


End file.
